I have wanted to work in a prison for many years but have never taken the time to do so. Finally, four years later I found, through a friend, someone who was looking for people to support inmates every couple of weeks in developing mindfulness. My husband, the friend and I went in one evening with the group’s founder. I really enjoyed it and we decided to become regular volunteers. We planned to attend a day-long retreat with them later in the summer. However, I was denied because I have a meditation pen pal in Massachusetts and she and I have been sharing letters for four years now.

Apparently the Department of Corrections has a rule that prevents you from volunteering if you communicate directly with prisoners in the same state. I empathized and tried to understand the concerns behind the rule. I didn’t get anywhere. Rather than lose my temper, which I was temped to do, I connected with my sadness. I told the interim director, “I’m really sad because I had been looking forward to supporting these guys in their practice and learning from them.” Her voice became softer.

“I know,” she said. “But there are many other ways you could help out – what about re-entry programs? Many people think of the prisons but forget all the support people need when they’re out.” So she put me in touch with the director of volunteer services to see if he could recommend programs to me. Suddenly my fixation on working with prisoners in a prison dropped. I connected to the need for support and contribution and the field of strategies opened.

Since my need was for support, I followed up with a friend to see if he knew anyone who might be interested in volunteering. They were able to get two volunteers for the orientation the next week and for the upcoming day-long retreat the next month. Those volunteers may also be there with the men at some of their weekly sits.

We shared our disappointment at not volunteering with the founder – who first got us in to sit. He said, “Showing up at the prison even one time is a great support to all the practice that goes on inside.  And if the prison hadn’t scheduled the orientation for the three of you, I don’t think the two new volunteers would be going to the retreat tomorrow. So you have already provided a lot of support to the group.”

Yesterday I did some work with some inner city youth in Boston. One young man, at the end of the day expressed his gratitude for his family, friends and music. He pointed to the need’s wheel we handed out with the exercise. He looked me in the eye, pointing to a need and held it up. “It’s about survival,” he said. Maybe I can trust much more that the work I need to do will show up. It seems to keep happening.